I Never Drove a Bulldozer

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come. William Shakespeare

Did old age sneak up on you? Me neither. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know the difference between freckles and liver spots. We can either give in to the crushing depression caused by loss of beauty, strength, and bladder control, or laugh in the face of impending olditude.

Bulldozer mediumI chose the latter when I released my new humor book, I Never Drove a Bulldozer / There’s a Hole in my Bucket List. Several agents critiqued the manuscript and gave me a double thumbs up, then went on to say that humor doesn’t sell. In the service to the newly old, and flying in the face of common sense wisdom, I decided to release my book anyway.

Topics to help ease you through the rigors of middle age:

  • Unless you are the Unibomber, you’re going to find yourself in the company of other people. Our relationships can either evolve as we grow older, or we can get used to writing manifestos and cleaning litter boxes.
  • Memory is one of the first things to go as we age. Be careful not to get arrested for vagrancy as you stand outside the Starbucks trying to remember the difference between a tall and a grande. Bail is normally set at the price of a tall.
  • I’ve looked in enough three-way mirrors at the mall, that I’ve decided the only way to draw the eyes away from my trouble spots is to set fire to the dressing room.
  • I’ve started planning on how to fill those empty hours once I retire. The senior center is planning an arts and crafts day teaching taxidermy. It’s BYORK (bring your own road kill).

You too can join the cool crowd and have a copy sitting on the back of your toilet seat. The book is available in paperback or Kindle at Amazon.

Karla Telega is the award winning author of Box of Rocks, a humorous mystery. She has edited two humor anthologies, blogs for Skirt.com Emagazine, and owns the Tart Cookies publishing imprint. She has dedicated her remaining years to making people laugh, losing twenty pounds, and avoiding periodontal disease. You can follow Karla on her humor blog at telegatales.com Click here to see all her listings on Amazon.

A Celtic Tapestry: Mist And Magic

celtic tapestry

Hunter S. Jones has been busy as of late, collaborating with seven fellow writers on A Celtic Tapestry, an anthology of short stories. Moon Rose Publishing will be releasing the book on the 21st of March, and you can find details on the release through her blog http://www.thehuntersjones.blogspot.ca/.

Here’s a taste of what you’ll find it’s about:

The wheel of the year turns, bringing the joy of spring, the warmth of summer, the richness of autumn, and the merriment of winter. But eight Celtic festivals link these seasons together, bringing with them romance, lust, danger, and even magic. From a city under threat from night-time creatures at Ostara, to a selkie caught by the light of the Lughnasadh moon, to a writer caught in the flames of a fiery goddess at Imbolc.
Eight authors have come together to give their own twist on these festivals, weaving each story with a blend of myth, magic, and contemporary telling…to create A Celtic Tapestry

                                                             Livia Ellis
                                                         Hunter S Jones
                                                         Laura De Luca
                                                         Elodie Parkes
                                                          Elle J Rossi

                                                        Miranda Stork
                                                        Carolyn Wolfe
                                                   Tara Stogner Wood

Reviews Of Norma Beishir’s “Final Hours” and “Chasing The Wind”

An excerpt from Chasing the Wind

Connor~ ”There’s something else I’ve never told you about. I’ve had a nightmare–the same one–since I was fifteen. It’s always the same, it never changes. There’s a violent storm. I’m in the water, and it’s very cold. The current is overwhelming me. I’m struggling to stay affloat. I see a light, a boat, and try to swim toward it. There’s someone on the deck, calling to me, reaching for me, but I can’t quite make it. I see your face, just once, before I’m pulled under.”

Lynne~ “Mine?” Lynne asked.

Connor~ “You,” Connor said. “The woman on the boat is you. I saw your face for the first time over twenty years ago. That’s why you seemed so familiar to me the night we met.”

Lynne~ ”What do you think it means?” Lynne asked. She didn’t laugh, didn’t question his honesty or his sanity. She believed him. “God gives us visions sometimes to lead us where we have to go.”

What an adventure! This very exciting book is filled with love, heartbreak, danger and a lot of very interesting characters.

Lynne is a religious archeologist who wants to work on a dig in Egypt, but she isn’t able to start the dig due to lack of funding. In comes Connor Mackenzie. He asks his stepfather, Edward, to fund the project. He does, and Connor goes off on his own adventure with Lynne.

But, there’s something mysterious about Connor. He has never been able to love anyone before. Any women he had before, he treated them like objects. He was afraid to love them in case they abandoned him like his mother did.

But, when he meets Lynne, he realizes that she is different, and he does everything to get her to love him. And, she does. With everything that she is, she loves him.

Connor is mysterious in other ways. He’s able to heal others with a single touch. He healed the baby bird that Lynne found, allowing it to be set free when he touched it. He healed the bruise she received when a rock fell on her shoulder during an earthquake, and the woman with cancer that he met when he was a young boy.

    “Go. The angels will guide you.”

Connor and Lynne, married now and pregnant with a baby, are forced to run for their lives. Their love is tested in many ways when truths are brought to the forefront of their relationship.

This is an excellent read. It will keep you on the edge of your seat as Connor and Lynne face danger after danger as they try to keep themselves, and their baby, alive.

It isn’t a book that you will likely be able to read in an afternoon, but I highly recommend this book. The love story is beautiful and the story compelling. I give this novel a 5 star rating.

Norma is currently re-writing this book so that it is in multiple first person point of view. I look forward to reading her new version of Chasing The Wind.


     Final Hours is about what you would do if you only had a few hours to live. How, and with whom, would you spend that time?

     Jamie Randall, a young, early thirties successful business man has been living a lie. A lie he thought he could have been out of by now. He’s living a life as a husband to a woman that he doesn’t love, having been trapped in the loveless marriage by her getting pregnant. His motivation for marrying her was for business purposes only. But, when she had the twin boys, he knew he couldn’t leave her. He loved his boys.

On a business trip to Rome, an earthquake occurs, causing the underground parking lot of the hotel that he owns, to collapse. With a broken leg, crushed by a piece of concrete, he yells for help. That’s when he meets nature photographer, Kate.

Maybe it was her beauty, or maybe it was his pain, but he instantly falls in love with her. He’s never cheated on his wife before, but suddenly, he wants to be with this woman. She is beautiful and kind, helping him stay alive. But, it’s more than that.

And, so begins a love affair that spans 14 years, and from the beginning of the book to the end, their love grows.

This is a book that will make you smile, laugh and cry. There is even one shocking element you find out at the end of the book. I wrote in my review on Amazon, that you know when a book is good when you can’t put it down. This was that book.

I loved both books, but this one was my very favourite. It allows you the chance to figure out on your own what you would do if you only had hours to live, and the author also gives you a chance to make your own ending. Not many author’s or stories are able to say that. That’s what makes this book so wonderful, in my opinion.

The More Things Change…Well, You Know the Rest

I’ve been a published author for almost twenty-four years now. A lot has changed since I started out. I’m an old-school author. When a friend and fellow writer told me the freelance editor she’d hired had pitched her manuscript at a writers conference, I was amazed. I already had an agent and a publisher before I attended my first conference, but I knew from writers who had made the rounds that if they didn’t show up in person for the meetings, they were out of luck. It took me a while to figure out terms like beta readers and steampunk. These things didn’t exist when I was being groomed for literary stardom back in the mid-eighties.

Seriously. The words “We’re going to make you a star” were uttered. Many times. And they wondered why I developed such an insatiable ego.

We didn’t have Facebook or Google or Amazon back then. We didn’t have the luxury of promoting our books online via Skype. There was no such thing as social networking or blogging or e-mail. Authors didn’t have websites. There were no e-books and the only form of self-publishing–a vanity press–was for writers content to pay a lot of money for a few boxes of books that were usually only read by friends and family. Publishers had to type press releases on paper, of all things. They had to use Snail Mail to send out bound galleys to book reviewers and media people who might be interested in doing an interview with the author. Author tours always involved air travel and hotel rooms.

But some things never change. If you want to be reviewed by the major book reviewers, you have to get your ARCs (advanced reading copies) to them one to three months prior to publication. The mainstream media will not interview an author until they actually have a book to promote.

Dance of the Gods Cover

Berkley Books bought my first novel, Dance of the Gods, on April 26, 1985. It was published on May 1, 1988–three years later. The publicity department did not schedule me for a single interview prior to May 1, 1988. Why? It would have been pointless. Doing publicity too soon would have been counterproductive. I was a new author no one had ever heard of. Since I wasn’t yet a bestselling author or a celebrity and didn’t have a large following for some other achievement, had I done interviews months prior to publication, book buyers would likely have forgotten who I was by the time my novel was in the bookstores.

Today, an unpublished author can build a following–to an extent–through blogging and posting updates on Facebook. But don’t expect Today or Good Morning America to book you for an appearance until you have a book in print.

7 Scorpions: Revolution Press Release

The official press release for 7 Scorpions: Revolution, courtesy of the highly talented Norma and Collin Beishir!

Bestselling sci-fi author follows first success with ambitious sequel

Mike Saxton is a self-professed Sith Lord. He’s smart, talented, a bestselling author with a wonderful, supportive wife and an adorable son, and still he wants to rule the world. Some people are never satisfied.

Saxton Family Pic

Mike with wife Amy and son Christopher

Mike Saxton created the 7 Scorpions series from a lucid dream. After having the first book published by someone else, he decided to form his own publishing company. He is also one of the founding members of the Writers of Mass Distraction. He has his B.S. in Computer Science and his M.S. in Organizational Management. He is currently pursuing (and praying to complete) a PhD in Organizational Management.

Praise for 7 Scorpions: Rebellion:

“The characters are multi-layered and completely believable. The plot is frighteningly realistic. You’ll find yourself believing this could actually happen. I did.” – Norma Beishir, Bestselling Author of Angels at Midnight and A Time for Legends

“7 Scorpions Rebellion is a fine pick and very highly recommended for science fiction fans.” – Midwest Book Review

“The story is a balls-to-walls roller-coaster with a few weird twists thrown in for good measure . . . If your science fiction tends to the Independence Day-Mad Max part of the spectrum, this is going to be a fun trip. The next two books should be a great read.” – Sacramento Book Review

“Plenty of action and characters that are real enough for us to have genuine concern for them.” – Marty Shaw, Reader Views

7 Scorpions: Revolution

7 Scorpions Revolution Book 2

The war against the Grand Army raged for over a year and a half. Despite their valiant efforts, the rebels of Militia 28 are losing. With dwindling supplies and eroding hope, they have one last chance. The recent discovery of a weapon long thought lost rekindles their ambitions of eventual victory. If only they can get to it before Night Viper’s past comes back to destroy them.

With his massive Ziggurat almost complete, the dictator Zodiac is poised to unleash his “final solution” upon the shattered remnants of humanity. The pawns are maneuvered into place and secrets will be revealed that will change the face of the rebellion forever. Who is Zodiac? What was the purpose of Project Scorpion? Most important, will the war ever end?

7 Scorpions: Revolution is the sequel to the bestselling, award winning 7 Scorpions: Rebellion. For more information: www.7Scorpions.com. For interviews and/or review copies, contact 860-468-9719.

7 Scorpions: Revolution

Sagido Publishing, 518 pages
December 2011
Paperback $18.50
E-book $2.99
ISBN – 13: 978-0615549538
ISBN – 10: 0615549535


Downloadable PDF