I Never Drove a Bulldozer

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come. William Shakespeare

Did old age sneak up on you? Me neither. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know the difference between freckles and liver spots. We can either give in to the crushing depression caused by loss of beauty, strength, and bladder control, or laugh in the face of impending olditude.

Bulldozer mediumI chose the latter when I released my new humor book, I Never Drove a Bulldozer / There’s a Hole in my Bucket List. Several agents critiqued the manuscript and gave me a double thumbs up, then went on to say that humor doesn’t sell. In the service to the newly old, and flying in the face of common sense wisdom, I decided to release my book anyway.

Topics to help ease you through the rigors of middle age:

  • Unless you are the Unibomber, you’re going to find yourself in the company of other people. Our relationships can either evolve as we grow older, or we can get used to writing manifestos and cleaning litter boxes.
  • Memory is one of the first things to go as we age. Be careful not to get arrested for vagrancy as you stand outside the Starbucks trying to remember the difference between a tall and a grande. Bail is normally set at the price of a tall.
  • I’ve looked in enough three-way mirrors at the mall, that I’ve decided the only way to draw the eyes away from my trouble spots is to set fire to the dressing room.
  • I’ve started planning on how to fill those empty hours once I retire. The senior center is planning an arts and crafts day teaching taxidermy. It’s BYORK (bring your own road kill).

You too can join the cool crowd and have a copy sitting on the back of your toilet seat. The book is available in paperback or Kindle at Amazon.

Karla Telega is the award winning author of Box of Rocks, a humorous mystery. She has edited two humor anthologies, blogs for Skirt.com Emagazine, and owns the Tart Cookies publishing imprint. She has dedicated her remaining years to making people laugh, losing twenty pounds, and avoiding periodontal disease. You can follow Karla on her humor blog at telegatales.com Click here to see all her listings on Amazon.

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9 thoughts on “I Never Drove a Bulldozer

  1. I’m always perplexed at Starbucks. Tall should mean a big cuppa Joe and it’s the small one go figure. Funny post and I’m sure your book is hilarious.

  2. Lovely humor. Mine hit at the age of 60. Everything went south. I don’t dare lose 20 pounds. I’d have to buy a new wardrobe. Too expensive. Maybe you could advertise it on AARP! Good luck!

  3. Great post! And I can’t wait to read your book! Karla, really this is a great cover! Thanks for all the advice; I’m already looking at some changes happening, oh, Lord! 🙂 Mari if you started at 60 that is great. I noticed things beginning after 40! Take care, Karla, and good luck!

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