Idiots Surround Us

The Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King

One of my favorite novels of all time is The Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King. I read it during my Sophomore year of high school, a year that I would prefer to forget. I avoided reading at all costs back then, unless it was on a computer screen (and this was long before eBooks or eReaders). I had, for the first time, the right to choose any book for a book report for my English class. That was great. Of course, the teacher had veto power so the first few books that I picked, nice and short, he just gave me a funny look on and shook his head (if only he could see me now, attempting a PhD, he’d probably drop). I finally made my way to the Stephen King books. I knew that King was a famous writer and his subject matter did appeal to me. At the time, I was heavy into Dungeons and Dragons and I’ll admit, I picked this book simply for the word “Dragon” in the title.

I procrastinated and procrastinated and finally decided I should attempt to skim the book so I could at least write a half-assed book report that would get me the coveted passing “C” grade. So I sat down to read it and 200 pages later, my mother was yelling to me that I missed dinner. I ended up reading the book in 2 days. I have since read many more books but this one is really what got me interested in reading and will always be important to me. Since the dreams that subsequently led to my writing began the summer after my Sophomore year, I think reading this book planted the seed of being a writer.

Flash forward to now. I decided to go scope it out again and I saw that, over time, a lot of people have agreed with me and the reviews for the book are overwhelmingly good. Naturally, there are those who don’t agree but this business isn’t 100%. Unlike other books by bestselling authors, I saw that none of the 1 star reviews were well written at all. Matter of fact, they were all nothing more than a few sentences. Not all of them were bad, but none of them would be compelling to me as a consumer to question my purchase. There were a few that stood out, so it’s time for a laugh:

I hope this book goes out of print soon so others will not have to suffer threw all 300 pages of this horse pucky book.

What? “Suffer threw”? I don’t know about suffering through 300 pages of “horse pucky” but I certainly “suffered threw” the one sentence of this review. If you really think I’m going to question my purchase of anything based on a review like this, you’ve got worms eating your brain.

I read this book and was extremly upset by how much of my time was wasted reading that terrible book. It was a book with a bad plot. It was a book that was semi-well written. I would have to agree with someone elses review by saying it seems like one of his kids wrote it when they were twelve. The only reason it got any good reviews is because te people that actually read it from cover to cover hated it so much they did not want anything to do with it.

At least the book was “semi-well” written because this review gave me a headache. Maybe his kids did write it when they were twelve but whoever posted this review must have had their preschool child write it. Before you judge others on their writing style, take a look at your own. This reviewer has absolutely no credibility.

I sincerely doubt Mr. King wrote this book. Perhaps one of his children wrote this and he put his name on it to see if it would sell. It might be good reading material for children or the mentally deficient, but personally, I couldn’t believe this was the same author who wrote The Dead Zone, Christine, The Stand, The Shining, It …. etc. In my opinion, King’s most enthralling quality is his style. He’s has a descriptive style and a way with words which keeps you in a trance until the book is over and done with. This book has none of those qualities. To be honest, … it would make great kindling.

This one actually pissed me off. First of all, what kind of idiot recommends a book with murder, violence, and graphic death scenes to children? It’s fine to have the opinion that it isn’t up to par with his other work (even if that opinion is wrong, you’re still entitled to it) but come on, don’t be an idiot. Also, “mentally deficient”? You’re not scoring any points right now jerk-off. I’m sure there are a legion of people who have read this who would love to find out that you called them “mentally deficient”. How about you actually give a real review, instead of hurling insults at other readers? People like this make me lose faith in the future of humanity.

Head Stuck Up

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11 thoughts on “Idiots Surround Us

  1. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you, Mike?

    I always tell anyone looking to reviews for recommendations to make sure the review is literate. If not, ignore it. Some of these idiots have no business criticizing anyone else’s writing.

    Love the pic!

    • Yes. Yes I am. I can’t tell you how many times I tried to find multiple opinions on something I wanted to buy, and found a whole bunch of junk like this.

    • I got an “A”. The only one I ever got in that class. Probably the only one I got my Sophomore year of High School.

      • I understand. I did subpar all through high school because I was busy writing science fiction and firefighting stories in the back row; worse, I got a C in sophomore English because the teacher was a poetry nut, and at the time I didn’t get poetry at all. Thank goodness my short stories were good for extra credit …

  2. When you read a review of anything, you don’t know if that person had an axe to grind with the author, hotel, etc. I take reviews with a grain of salt!

    • Absolutely. I had someone complain that my characters weren’t realistic then about 10 other reviewers saying the characters were so realistic they thought they were real people. There will always be critics.

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