Authors are human, despite rumors to the contrary. That means that we have friends (well, most of us do), but we also have enemies. Not everyone likes us. I could list all of the people that I know about who don’t like me but the data overflow might crash the server, so I won’t bother. Those people also aren’t worth my damn time.
Anyway, sometimes we get petty, whiny, brats who decide a great way to retaliate is to leave a negative review on our books. Sometimes they buy the book (if they are leaving the review on Amazon, they can attempt to make it more “legit” by having the “Amazon Verified Purchase” appear). So here is the first one, written about Something Funny Happened on the Way to the Moon by Sara Howard:
I really do not understand how this book got such good reviews. The writing style is terrible and chapters ridiculously short. I have asked amazon for a refund.
First of all, I really don’t give a damn that you asked for a refund. Maybe, if that was the last sentence of a comprehensive review, the sentence would have added a bit of flavor to it. You wrote three sentences. When I see reviews like this, I often wonder if it is nothing more than a personal vendetta or such a sore lacking of intelligence. What’s really funny is if this fool had bothered to read the first sentence of the description, he or she would have seen “This book is a light-hearted, funny story . . .” It’s light reading my friend. It’s not meant to be some in-depth, science-filled informational book. Man, this kind of stuff makes me lose faith in humanity. If you want to give a negative review, fine. Actually review the book with real reasons why it deserves such negativity!
The next one is from A Promise Kept: The Story of One Widowed Bride’s Journey Through Grief by Elise Crawford. Just take a look at this:
What a bunch of self-pity crap. Plain crap. Ladies and gents, the author makes up so much here that the book is total fantasy. If pity is what you want to give, well, you came to the right place.
When Mark was killed, Liz ran away like a little child. She ignored Mark’s two kids, and in fact locked one of them out of Mark’s house a day after the tragedy. Let me repeat – locked one of Mark’s kids out of his own house, because she couldn’t “handle” his emotions.
So many lies, so few pages!
When confronted, she ran and hid. Mark did not put her in his will. They were NOT married. She was the one who broke ties with the McLaughlin family. She could have had many of Mark’s items but hid from all attempts to be contacted.
Her writing “style” is plain boring. The positive reviews are obviously from people trying to sell the “book” – what a farce!
Her book is a scam – enjoy. Wish there was less than one star to leave.
“Liz” huh? Obviously, this person knows the author and is probably a bitter in-law or something like that. Guess what: I DON’T GIVE A &*$% ABOUT YOUR DAMN PERSONAL VENDETTA! If you have an issue, why don’t you write a column or publish your own book. This isn’t a review on a book, this is your whiny, griping, gibberish. Oh wait, right at the end, there is one sentence on the writing style, and its 6 words long. Thanks. This review is about as helpful as a hemorrhoid.
People who write garbage reviews like this remind me of why we need to chlorinate the gene pool. Air your personal baggage to someone who gives a *$%#, because no one here does.