Idiot Reviewers of the Week

Dead Witch Walking Cover

Welcome to another installment of Idiot Reviewers of the Week. For those who haven’t read one yet, here is the basic premise. There are great products out there, then there are mediocre ones, and finally there are terrible ones. Most shoppers depend on reviewers for input as to which ones are which and the system works quite well. Until we get to the idiots. I’m not talking about someone who writes a negative review. I’m talking about the ones who have no idea how to write a review, review the wrong product, or review the service from the store/website where they bought the item from instead of the item itself, or any other multitude of foolishness that makes me as a shopper want to bang my head against the desk.

First, we’re going to take a look at a review for Kim Harrison’s Dead Witch Walking, which is the first book of the popular The Hollows series which has several books now. Here is the example:

“Some books are hard to put down, this one was hard to pick up. I usually read a book this size and this same genre in one or two days, but it took me several weeks. When I finally made it to the end, I was totally let down. I felt there were a lot of questions left unanswered. I guess they want you to read the next book, but I will not.”

This review was fine until I got to the fourth sentence, “I felt there were a lot of questions left unanswered.” Um, duh. It’s a series. What the hell is the point of writing a series if you don’t have unanswered questions to encourage a reader to pick up the next book? That’s normal. Hell, Harry Potter had 2 new questions for every one that got answered and waited until the end of book 7 to finish answering the questions. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Keep people on edge. Have you ever even read a book before?

Now, it gets better, here’s the next one:

“I got this book and read it and liked it, but it no longer deserves to be listed under Free with a price on it. This has been on the free list with a price now for about a week. I thought you updated all the time.”

Anime Face Palm

I really &*%$ing hate this. It makes me want to get violent. This reviewer liked the book but is mad about the listing and leaves a negative review? CONTACT THE *$%#ING CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPARTMENT! That’s not cause to give a bad rating to a book. What the hell is is your malfunction!? Do people like this even know what the word review means? Or maybe it’s just pure laziness of not wanting to click the “contact us” button. What this actually does is punish the author. Fortunately, Kim Harrison sells loads of books and has mostly good reviews so I doubt this one will make any real difference. If she was an unknown Indie author though, this could be problematic. It’s reviewers like this that give the rest of us a bad name, and can end up giving some innocent author a bad name too.


Oh, and I’m not done yet. I’m a Transformers fan. Specifically, I’m a Generation 1 nut. I still have all of my originals and I’ve bought a bunch of the re-releases. Matter of fact, for Christmas, my wife got my the exclusive Toys R’ Us anniversary edition of Rodimus Prime. She asked me if I wanted anything else so I decided to browse through and see if there were any others that I wanted now. I came across a re-release of Scourge, the Targetmaster version. I was excited. Then I saw this review:

I’ve given this a one star because it is a brilliant representation. But so far only available from due to shipping problems to other countries (I won’t explain all that here). When will it be made available to the UK? Or as with many many things will it just be a USA exclusive and forget everyone else.

This hasn’t been the first time certain model/toys have only been exclusive to the USA (Swoop and Devastator and Shockwave for example, eventually I found cheap knockoffs for them on some market stall). The excuse used is warranty issues, but the other models are available in the UK (case in point, Cyclonus, same range as this model yet we get him. What did they think we wouldn’t want Scourge?!). The same goes for Kup and Wreckgar.

In case I’m wrong and they are due to be released to then ignore the above, but prior history shows different.

Wah. Boo hoo hoo. I have something for you:

baby pacifier

Maybe now you can stop your crying. Reviews are not a forum to gripe about availability! Manufacturers, authors, etc don’t always have control over where their products go! If it means that much to you, come visit the colonies and get one while you’re here. Stop pissing and moaning and giving bad ratings just because you’re upset. Hell, there are plenty of re-issues that are only available in Japan. Deal with it.

The best part of all of this is the people who have the power to get this figure distributed in the UK will probably never even see this review. Thanks for littering the web with this garbage.



9 thoughts on “Idiot Reviewers of the Week

  1. Peeps aren’t all that intelligent. Like today, a lady asked me to spike her hair on top her head but not like a man. In lopping land that means there will only be an inch left to play with for the guy. For gals, it means it will be a 1/2 in longer than a man’s spike. So I snipped a spikey spot on top.

    “Oh, that’s too short,” the lady says.
    “Okay. So you don’t mean spikey then. What do you mean?”
    “I don’t know then,” the lady says.

    I put up with stuff like this all day long.

  2. I’d want to stab them with the scissors….

    This actually reminds me of something that came to my attention the other day. What about commenters who are so loyal to a piece of work that’s trash… that they view any negative remark as a personal attack?

  3. Those were really bad reviews. I’ve written a review for a book that I didn’t like, but I told why I didn’t like the book….what questions were left unasnwered etc? I hate it when people write reviews like that.

    However, in my series, because when I wrote the first book, I didn’t realize I still had more to write, I ended the book…there were no “unanswered” questions. And, I personally like it when a book ends…but, to not bother to tell the next reader what the ‘unanswered’ questions were, that’s just wrong.

    • The first book in the 7 Scorpions trilogy has some unanswered questions but does not leave off on a major cliff hanger. The second one, however, leaves off with a major cliff hanger. It depends on how much of a continuity the author needs to tell the story appropriately.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s